Understanding Cognitive Distortions & How to Reframe Them
Have you ever caught yourself thinking, “I always mess things up,” or “If I’m not perfect, I’m a failure”? These thoughts may feel true, but they’re likely cognitive distortions—automatic, inaccurate patterns of thinking that contribute to anxiety, depression, and self-doubt.
What Are Cognitive Distortions?
Cognitive distortions are biased ways of thinking that reinforce negative beliefs about ourselves, others, or the world. They often go unchallenged and become habitual, impacting our emotions and behaviors.
Common Cognitive Distortions in Women:
All-or-Nothing Thinking: “If I don’t do this perfectly, I’ve failed.”
Catastrophizing: “If I make a mistake, everything will fall apart.”
Mind Reading: “She didn’t text back—she must be mad at me.”
Should Statements: “I should be able to handle this without help.”
Personalization: “It’s my fault they’re upset.”
How to Begin Challenging and Reframing These Thoughts:
Identify the Distortion: Start by noticing when a negative thought arises. Label the type of distortion.
Ask Yourself: Is This 100% True? Look for evidence for and against the thought.
Reframe the Thought: Try to create a more balanced or neutral version.
Instead of “I always mess up,” try: “I made a mistake, but that doesn’t define me.”
Use Thought Records: Journaling your distorted thoughts, evidence, and reframes can build awareness and insight.
Practice Self-Talk: Develop compassionate internal dialogue. Talk to yourself the way you would a friend.
Changing your thought patterns doesn’t mean pretending everything is fine—it means seeing yourself and your world more accurately and kindly. Cognitive reframing is a skill, and like any skill, it grows with time and practice.
